When he couldn't leave
by UnaverageWriterFreak
Summary: Cam's failed suicide attempt. Rated T just to be safe.
1. Suicide

**Chapter One**

**Cam's Suicide**

**What should've happened**

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><p><em>'I'm sorry. It's over." <em>Maya read the text over and over again. He couldn't mean that. Maya rolled over in bed and closed her eyes. What did this mean?

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><p>Doctors rushed around him, his vision blurry.<p>

"Maya…" He moaned unknowingly.

"Who's Maya?" He heard a doctor ask. Cam felt something being shifted out of his pocket, buttons pressing, and then a low murmured voice. Cam couldn't be bothered to listen as he slipped into unconsciousness.

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><p>Maya woke as her phone rang. Blearily, she checked the time. It was 2:30 a.m.; slowly she picked up the phone. "Hello?" She said while yawning.<p>

"Is this Maya?" An unrecognized voice spoke.

"Yea this is she, who's this?" Maya said still unconcentrated

"You were on Campbell Saunders emergency contact list. We have brought him into the contact list. We have brought him into the hospital after a failed suicide attempt. Would you like to come in and see him?" The doctor said sympathetically.

"I'll be there in ten minutes!" Maya said rushing as she hung up. Running across the hall, Maya banged on Katie's door.

"Cam's in the hospital, he tried to kill himself! Will you please drive me there?" Maya spoke her voice cracking as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Ye-yeah! Sure, let me just get my keys!" Katie stuttered as she rushed back into her room. "Let's go." Katie said as both Matlin girls rushed to their mom's car.

Ten minutes later the sisters arrived at the hospital.

"What room is Campbell Saunders in?" Maya said while holding her hands together to stop them from shaking.

"267…" The receptionist said as she looked at Maya in pity.

Maya rushed away and looked for the room number. Once she reached it she slowly pushed the door open. What she saw is something she wished she didn't. Cam was barely breathing. He was hooked to an IV and his arms were bandaged completely.

Maya slowly broke into sobs as she walked towards him and grasped onto his overly pale hand.

Trying to blink back her already fallen tears, she stared at his bandaged arms. She felt as if she could see the blood seeping through white cloth.

"Maya…" He moaned as he slowly stirred.

"I'm right here Cam, and I'm not leaving your side." Maya said her eyes never tearing her eyes away from his face. One tear slowly slid out of his eye and soon a waterfall followed. Shaking he tried to grasp onto Maya tighter. Maya instantly leaned in and wrapped her arms around his waist

Grasping onto him, she breathed into his scent.

"I promise, things will get better Cheesy, I promise!" Maya wailed trying to get closer to him.

"I'll get better Maya, I will. I need help and I'm finally accepting it." He said with a weary smile.

**Should I write more or no? Two reviews that say yes and I will continue. Two reviews that say no and I will leave it as a one shot.**


	2. Campbell Psychopath Saunders and School

**Chapter Two**

**School, Therapy, and Campbell 'Psychopath' Saunders**

Two days, and an entire 24 hour suicide watch period, later Cam was released from the hospital.

"I'm so happy you're okay, Cam. I don't know what I would've done if you weren't." Maya said, hugging him close as they lay on the couch together. His billet family had allowed him until 8:30 pm to visit Maya.

"I'm glad I'm okay too. I was so stupid to think that ending my life would solve anything. All it would do is make another person gone. I guess I just figured that being gone would just fix...You know what it's stupid. Forget I said anything." Cam said, looking away from Maya in shame.

"Cam, you need to talk to someone and I am happy to listen. If you really don't want to talk about this right now, we don't have to. I just want you to know that I am here for you." Maya said with a small smile while looking into Cam's beautiful brown eyes.

"Thanks Maya," Cam said with a genuine smile "but I don't think I'm ready to talk about it just yet. When I am you will be the first person to know. Speaking of talking about stuff do you think you can come to my therapy session with me after school tomorrow?" Cam said with hope. He didn't want to face this problem alone and he knew Maya would come and support him.

"I would love to come with you, Cheesy. I'm really glad you asked me!" Maya said with glee as a small smile appeared upon her lips.

"I really don't want to go to school tomorrow. I don't want to be around the stares and whispers." Cam said in a depressing tone, a frown on his lips.

"Cam, everything will be okay! I promise, I won't let anything happen to you." Maya spoke softly, looking up at him.

"I just hope I can handle it..." Cam whispered with a small sigh.

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><p>Maya gripped onto Cam's hand as they walked up the front steps of Degrassi Community School. As they walked through the front doors stares and whispers were heard from hallway to hallway all having the same context; "Cam...Attempted...Kill himself...Selfish...Psychopath"<p>

"Maya make them stop, please!" Cam said in a desperate whisper. He couldn't handle all this attention, he just couldn't.

Before Maya could speak a booming voice was heard above all others, "Hey! Keep your whispers to yourself unless you want a punch in the face and a beating with a hockey stick!" All whispers stopped and everybody continued what they were doing before.

"Dallas!?" Cam said shocked as he saw the older Ice Hound walking towards him.

"Hey what's up Rook?" Dallas said with a small smirk.

"Why did you do that?" Cam asked his eyes narrowed. Cam wanted to know what Dallas' motive was and he would find out.

"You looked uncomfortable and team mates help out team mates right?" Dallas said patting him on the shoulder.

"What's with the sudden burst of kindness? You were never this nice before to Cam." Maya said, the boys finally realizing that she was still there.

"Look, I realized that I might have been bad in the past-" Dallas started saying before he was cut off.

"Hell yea you were bad before! You were the most ignorant and rude asshole ever!" Maya said fuming. She didn't want Cam to forgive this jerk so easily. Especially if he was one of the reasons Cam attempted to kill himself.

Dallas ignored Maya and continued to speak, ", but I want to make it up to you; all of us do." The older ice hound said as the other ice hounds finally came out.

"We're really sorry dude." Owen said, looking Cam straight into the eyes.

"We didn't know how on edge you were and we want to apologize, by being your personal body guards." Luke said with a small smile. Even though he was an asshole, he did have a heart...sort of.

"Thanks guys, but no thank you." Cam said, staring at his entire team.

"What do you mean no thank you?" Dallas said with a frown.

"Maya is my biggest support system right now, and if you can't get along with her you can't be around me. I really don't need the drama right now." Cam said, grasping onto Maya's hand tightly. Nothing was going to come between them, and he meant it when he had said it.

"We're willing to get along with fla-Maya, if you're willing to give us a shot." Dallas said compromising with his team mate.

"What do you think, M?" Campbell said, looking at Maya with hope in his eyes and a small smile on his face.

"I don't like this," Maya said, looking at Cam as his smile fell "but if this will make you happy, Cheesy, I'm willing to go through with this. You need all the support you can get." She said with a sad, but gentle, smile.

Hoots and hollers filled the hallways as the Ice Hounds all high five, and surprisingly, pulled Cam into a group hug. Maya watched on with a small smile. Maybe this year wouldn't be that bad.

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><p>Cam and Maya walked through Maya's bedroom door and Cam plopped down onto her bed. He let out a heavy scream into his pillow.<p>

"Maya, you have more people over!" Mrs. Matlin yelled up the stairs as footsteps thumped against the hardwood.

"We figured you would be here after your billet mom said you weren't home." Dallas said as he, Owen, Luke, and the rest of the Ice Hounds filed into the room.

"How do you know where I live!?" Maya asked exasperated.

"Owen asked Tristan and he gave us directions." Luke said with a cheeky smile. Maya would have to remember to kill Tristan later.

"How was your first therapy session dude?" Owen asked as he sat down on the floor.

"It sucked so bad!" Cam said still lying face down in the pillow so what it really sounded like was; "It mmphed so madd"

"It couldn't have been that bad." Dallas said looking at Campbell's over turned body.

"Oh it was that bad. Cam was restrained by security for punching his therapist in the face." Maya said holding back a small chuckle.

"Why'd you punch the therapist in the face!" Dallas said as his laughter subsided.

"He was saying how maybe having Maya in my life wasn't the best and that she was a cause for stress." Cam said finally, turning his body upwards and bringing Maya close to him so that she lay on his chest.

An awkward silence filled the room. "Oh...Okay then? Can we order a pizza I'm starving; not to go off topic." Owen said as his stomach made a really nasty gurgling sound.

"Yea go ahead." Maya said, hugging Cam closer and lightly pecking his lips.

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><p>The rest of the night was calm and soon everybody had left except Campbell, who was currently standing at the door waiting to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow, Cheesy!" Maya said, pulling him in for a long, but short kiss.<p>

"I'll see you tomorrow, M." Cam said as he walked towards his ride. As soon as the door closed Cam mumbled three incoherent words that definitely sounded like _**"I love you." **_

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><p><em><strong>Authors Note: Alright so review if you liked it review if you didn't. I love all reviews. Looking for a Beta-Reader for this story so if you want to, I am open to everybody!<strong>_

_**We all know Cam loves Maya and Maya loves Cam, we'll get there eventually. Also if Maya's mom seemed too kind for you, in the episodes I saw she was very sweet to Maya so that's what I'm basing this on.**_

_**Love you all**_

_**Peace,**_

_**Unaverage Writer Freak**_

_**PS. I used to be named xxXDarkEmpressXxx, but I changed my user name so this is still me 3**_


	3. Save me from my nightmares

**Chapter Three**

**Save me from my nightmares**

**Authors Note: Maya might be OOC in this chapter, but I have always hated the Maya/Tristan/Tori Friendship so I'm ending it here. Katie and Jake are dating I 3 Jatie!**

_Maya walked forward wearing a white silk dress that fell just below her knees. Standing ahead was Campbell, wearing a white dress shirt, black slacks, a black tie, and dress shoes._

_Not being able to wait, she ran towards him as fast as she could, but then felt something drip down and soak her entire dress. Looking at her white dress, which was now blood red, she let out a scream._

"_Cam! Help me please!" Maya screamed, sobs racking her shaking body. As soon as she looked ahead, she saw a different scene. Cam's wrists were slit, and blood was leaking through the sleeves of his shirt. The blood soon poured out of his mouth as he gasped and gagged, not able to breath. _

_Maya attempted to get to him, but was stuck in her spot, gawking at the sight in front of her._

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><p>Maya leaped up out of her blankets, successfully falling off her bed in the process and causing a loud thump as she landed. Curling up in a ball, Maya wrapped her arms around her petite shaking frame. Rocking back and forth, she tuned out the world.<p>

Which is exactly why she didn't hear Katie walk through the door, but she did feel her sister grab hold of her shaking body to try and make her stop. She couldn't stop shaking, she wanted to, but she couldn't. She heard Katie yell for their mom and soon the shaking became harsher and she slipped into the fun world of unconsciousness.

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><p>Waking up, she looked around and took in her surroundings. White walls and a green drawn back curtain. Katie was sleeping soundly and her mom sat, in a wheelchair, struggling to keep her eyes open.<p>

As she looked out the small hospital room window, she took notice Campbell, Dallas, Owen, Luke, Jake, Tori, and Tristan are waiting for her. Cam must have called them after someone called him.

As soon as her eyes connected with Cam's, he got up quickly and ran to her room. Not bothering to knock he flung the door open and ran to her side. Grasping onto her tightly, he hugged her as close as possible.

Katie woke when she heard the noise, but smiled and just watched. Mrs. Matlin eye's opened as she looked at her daughter embracing her boyfriend.

"My head hurts, can I get something for it?" Maya asked, holding her head between her knees.

"I'll call the nurse." Katie said as she pushed the nurse button.

Once Maya got her medication and was feeling better she looked at Katie and asked, "What happened?"

"You-you fell and then you started shaking really hard, and-and then you collapsed and were unconscious!" Katie said tears lightly falling onto her face.

"Oh, I remember now! I was having this crazy nightmare about...you know what it doesn't matter. What matters it that I'm okay!"

Before Mrs. Matlin could speak the rest of the group filed in.

"We were so worried about you Maya! Now that we know you're okay, we can figure out when you get out so we can go get well shopping!" Tori said happily as Tristan nodded enthusiastically behind her.

"Guys, I don't want to be your friend anymore..." Maya mumbled incoherently.

"What did you say?" Tristan asked, a smile still plastered on her face.

"I don't want to be your friend anymore!" Maya said a little louder. She couldn't handle being in the background anymore. This was her year, she had an amazing boyfriend _and_ made friends with the Ice Hounds.

"Well then, miss Maya Mat! You call us when you decide you want better friends than...whatever this is!" Tristan spat as Tori motioned her hand towards everyone in the room.

"All you have is your disabled mother, no offense Mrs. Matlin, These hockey kids, and you're sister and Jake the gardener. How are you going to be supported on that?" Tori said in disbelief.

"I think I'll survive..." Maya said as she grasped onto Campbell's hand and her mom's.

Tori and Tristan stormed out of the room angrily. Maya guessed they weren't going to ask Owen for a ride.

"Well that was entertaining!" Owen said with a smirk.

"Well back on the topic of Maya, what did you say your dream was about?" Mrs. Matlin asked her daughter.

"It was nothing don't worry about it mom." The younger Matlin girl said trying to brush it off.

"Maya you need to tell us. You can trust me..."Cam spoke softly as he squeezed Maya's hand lightly.

"I was um...having a sexy dream about Cam..." Maya said her voice shaking. She knew this wasn't the truth, but saying that she was having a dream about her boyfriend killing himself wasn't a very good option.

"Awe! My sisters first sex dream! She's finally growing up!" Katie said, holding Jake's hand. When he had moved closer to her, no one knows.

"Oh, well you didn't have to share that sweetie. You could have told me later." Mrs. Matlin said as she looked at Maya, whose face was red, and then to Cam, whose face, if even possible, was redder that Maya's. "Maya the doctor told us that there is something very wrong going on up in your head and we want you to start seeing someone to talk to about all this.

"Mom, I'm fine! I have you and Katie and Cam and everyone else that I might need." Maya said looking at everyone in front of her.

"That's so sweet, Maya!" Katie said as everybody took a turn hugging her.

The doctor walked through the door, holding a clipboard filled with papers.

"Glad to see you're awake Ms. Matlin! I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this terrible news, but you have..."

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><p><em><strong>Authors Note:<br>Hey guys left you at a little cliff hanger. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Review it up! And again I broke up the Maya/Tori/Tristan friendship because I seriously hate it. Don't worry I have more in store :)**_

_**Love,**_

_**Unaverage Writer Freak**_


	4. Psychogenic Blackouts (READ AN)

**Chapter 4- When he couldn't leave**

**Psychogenic Blackouts**

"Glad to see you're awake Ms. Matlin! I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this terrible news, but you had a psychogenic blackout." The doctor said with a look of pity on his face.

"What's a psychogenic blackout?" Maya questioned uneasily, tightening her grip on Campbell's hand.

"Well a psychogenic blackout is a medical term for a blackout that looks like a reflex syncope or an epileptic seizure. It mimics any syncope, but it has no relation whatsoever."

"Oh..." Maya said still slightly confused. She knew what a seizure was, but was still confused over what a syncope was.

"Will she be okay?" Cam questioned, a tear slowly falling onto his jacket.

"She will be fine, but I suggest she stays away from anything stressful. The nurse at the front desk should be waiting with Maya's release forms." The doctor said before exiting the room.

An almost non-existent ring filled the room, as Cam's phone buzzed.

"I'll be right back, I promise" Cam said before he left the room.

"Spill Maya!" Katie said as soon as Cam was out of hearing range.

"Spill what?" Maya said innocently, staring at her hands blankly.

"What your dream was really about." Katie said simply. Before Maya could protest, the older girl continued to speak. "We all know you're too innocent to have a dirty dream about Cam, so spill it Matlin."

"The dream I had...was about Cam except it wasn't dirty as in sexual, it was dirty as in horrifyingly disgusting." Maya took a shaky breath and continued, "I as walking towards him then all of the sudden I was covered in blood and so were his wrists. I couldn't save him!" She said, her voice cracking. Tears flowed down her face as her body shook from the force of her sobs.

"Maya..." her mom said as she leaned over, as far as she could without falling, to hug her youngest daughter.

"It was so scary!" Maya sobbed, grasping onto her mom tightly. Why did she have to deal with this? She just wanted the pain and drama to go away.

"Maya. Maybe it would be best if you spent a few days away from Cam." Mrs. Matlin said gently. Before Maya could speak, Cam walked back in the room.

"I have to go back to Kapuskasing, there's some sort of family emergency. I'll be back soon, I promise..." The young ice hound said as he kissed his girlfriend before leaving.

"Can we just go home now?" Maya pleaded. You could tell how she felt by her body. Her eyes red, her cheeks were tear stained, and her voice was strained.

"I still need to sign your forms Maya." Mrs. Matlin said sadly.

"I'll drive her home. If it's okay with you Mrs. Matlin." Owen said, raising his hand slightly.

As Maya was about to protest, her mom cut her off. "That would be very sweet of you Owen! I'm sure Maya is very thankful." Mrs. Matlin said as she nudged Maya.

"Yea thanks..." Maya grumbled unhappily. Boy this was going to be hell.

**Authors Note:**

**Yea this wasn't the best chapter I know. It's kind of rushed and I'm sorry. The next chapter will be better, but it won't be posted for a while. I post when I get inspiration and this chapter was forced. My next chapter might not be for a while.**

**Sorry guys**

**Love,**

**Unaverage Writer Freak 3**


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